How Losing my Job was the Sign I Needed to Pursue my Passion
With the Full Moon in Capricorn reaching its peak tonight, it feels fitting to share a vulnerable story that illuminates more about my personal journey from office job to healing work. I hope you enjoy it!
Almost 4 months ago now, on a seemingly average day at the office job I’d been working at for almost 3 years, I received a last minute meeting invite on my calendar. As I walked up to the meeting I could see two people from management awaiting me in the conference room I was approaching. I walked in and instantly knew what was about to happen. To keep it short, I was unexpectedly let go - effective immediately.
Upon hearing their words, my heart beat through my chest and while some expected emotions began to rise up, so did a sense of ease and relief. I knew I had changed and had not been a perfect fit for the role for months. The company had changed, the team had changed too, and the growth trajectory for the path I was on was not one I was excited about anymore. I tried to make it work and I tried to change my perspective, yet inevitably, apathy arose as a side effect of no longer enjoying my role’s responsibilities. My passion for working on my spiritual and emotional development had taken president for a long time. I was learning so much about myself and I was experiencing such huge transformation, that I knew it was only a matter of time before I answered the call to share my experiences and use what I’d been learning to guide others on their own journeys. This call was getting so loud, that I had even set a timeline for myself for when I was going to put in my notice, which was not too far away. I had been asking and praying for any and all signs that I was headed in the right direction by stepping away from what, up until that point, was the only thing that felt like self made security and success.
And then, this happened! My decision was made for me. This was the sign.
On my way home from that office building for the last foreseeable time, I looked up at the sky that was showing off as the sun went down, and welled up with emotion - a combination of sadness, joy, grief, anger, gratitude. I remember thinking that had this happened a year, two, three, or more ago, I would not know how to handle all those feelings at once. If this had happened at an earlier time, I would have likely dove straight into escapist behaviors in attempt to drown the feelings I didn’t like feeling. But in that moment, I knew I could handle it all. I had grown my emotional capacity to feel more than I could ever have imagined, and from that place, I knew I would experience more than I could ever imagine too. I knew that what was happening was to serve as a reflection for how far I’d come and to provide an opening to explore what I had be hoping to for months.
While I didn’t and wouldn't know exactly what was ahead of me, I knew I had a passion I wanted to work towards and this was my chance to give it a go. So, here I am now, giving it a go and continuing to work on myself through it all.